Breeding Lucidity

In vivo. In vitro.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
This or that?


Have you ever had the feeling of something being real and possible? Not in the moment where you have known every detail of it, every minutiae that defines it, all of its existential quirks and manifestations but when you are being introduced to it for the very first time. A vague, ambiguous description at best. A moment when the littlest non-detail seems appealing and perfect. Where do you draw the line between this, let's call it die-hard positivity, and wishful thinking? Is there a line? I think we all crave for such clarity; irrational yet so soothing. We yearn for that moment of absolute certainty. We all understand that there are many things beyond our control - even amongst the avowed atheists. Not everything has to be ascribed to a God per se. Different names notwithstanding, there does seem like something or someone exists that/who seems to have things planned. Given the level of chaos that exists around us, I'd hate to believe that there is an uncertain entity oblivious to things around and idling away time by random waves of the wand. It gives me comfort in believing that even if I do not fully understand or know my purpose, someone or something else maybe does. It is in between these moments of not openly acknowledged powerlessness that I would love these tiny actions rooted in absolutely insane certainty! A tiny boost to the ego. So if you ask me, each one of them is possible. All of them will happen. 

Someone who read my book of poems told me that it seemed like I was ending each of my poems with a line that subscribed to hope for the future, or in a few cases a solution of some sort to what was written about. I had never thought of my poetry that way for I wrote what I felt. I went back and read through my poems again. He was right. Tonight, as I write this, I realise that I am going to post this on a not-so-hopeful note. If this is how I am - finding hope in everything and believing it all to be possible - am I, in this particular case, latching on to wishful thinking that is pretending to be the embodiment of hope and what's to be? I can tell you how that thought sounds to the optimist - soul crushing!

But then again, everything happens for a reason. :)
posted by Ms.V @ 00:21   0 comments
Tuesday, August 05, 2014
Beauty of Uncertainty

I was going to start this post by saying how I really do dislike starting all of my almost bimonthly posts with the same song and dance about not having written anything here for a while. Well, I just did that, didn't I? Hmm. But then I googled "bimonthly" to double check that it meant once in two months and well, what do you know? It actually means both "once in two months" and "twice in a month". The same ambiguity goes for biweekly and biyearly as well. On that positive trivia-esque note, I inaugurate this bimonthly post! 

My obsession with uncertainty is only paralleled by uncertainty's obsession with me. Somehow the state of flux and I have become such inseparable pals that we have begun to enjoy each other's company. Maybe it helps that I am the kind that remains hopelessly hopeful even when the situation could, even in the most hopeful case, be only termed as hopeless. Or maybe it could just be our mutual love for long-winded sentences! 

There is beauty in change. Change presents a slight expansion of our canvas and with that comes those tiny unoccupied, untouched bits that can be coloured and done in any way we want. It could come across as a very romantic notion of life. But I've realised that I find it really hard to let go of it. Somehow things make better and of course, more palatable, sense when I can see that eternal silver lining. Well, I do make the change sound more depressing with this seemingly forced sense of optimism, don't I? All I can say to that is that the optimism is incredibly genuine. 

Richard Ashcroft (lyrics; A Song for the Lovers) equated falling in love to taking a train to a foreign land without a ticket for the ride. I think that restricting it to just falling in love is a shame!
posted by Ms.V @ 00:00   1 comments

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Name: Ms.V

Home: Karnataka, India

About Me: A 23 year old trying to take over the world. I am currently trying to perfect my evil laugh.

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