Breeding Lucidity

In vivo. In vitro.
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
Holding On & Letting Go

This year I decided to take a different route. Usually, my birthday reminders start well before a month prior to the big event! This time around I just did not feel like it. I did make all effort to remind the people close to me about it, personally. However, FB remained oblivious. It had many other birthdays and events to remember, so I figured I'd give it a break this year. Honestly, I've no reasons to why I decided to do so. One fine day I felt like removing the date from my FB page. However, I figured an appraisal of the year gone by would be a good way to wrap up year 27. Yes, I turned 27 this 4th.


The year has been quite eventful. Last birthday brought with it the promise to spend a few months out on another continent. It was a wonderful experience. I caught up with people I was not sure if I would meet again so soon. A welcome break from everything that had become a routine in my life. A change was wonderful, especially after the dreaded comprehensive examinations. Thanks to my parents, I had crossed international borders at a very early age. But then I wanted to do it without burning a hole in anyone's pocket. And in that sense, it was a dream come true. Further, I was the only one left in the family who hadn't seen snow. So that's another stricken off my list.


The next few months went in preparing for the thesis proposal. September 12th was the date. I was now technically a step away from becoming a Fellow. Despite understanding that each of the steps in the programme so far have been nothing but mirages, I fell for this one too. But it is good to get done with it. I am told the next one is the real deal! I hope I get to experience it soon!


The biggest thing I have had to grapple with this year has been to discern the distinction between the things I should hold on to and others that I should learn to let go. It is the question of balancing perseverance and foolhardiness. I started the year letting go of a lot of things that had turned bitter. I realised that my tolerance levels would not change the aftertaste. The only thing I could do was to leave the scene behind and find something worth tolerating. It was one of the best decisions I have made. It was disappointing that things could change the way they did. But then as the cliched statement goes, change is the only permanent affair in this world. I wish I could extend the same detachment to a few other things in this world. Easier said than done.


It almost seemed that I was trying to make up for that voluntary detachment by holding on too tightly for the rest of the year. That is where I am at right now. Last year wasn't that bad. I guess I should start this one the same way as the last one. Letting go of year 27 and trying to get a hold on year 28.

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posted by Ms.V @ 17:50   0 comments

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Name: Ms.V

Home: Karnataka, India

About Me: A 23 year old trying to take over the world. I am currently trying to perfect my evil laugh.

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