Have you ever had the feeling of something being real and
possible? Not in the moment where you have known every detail of it, every minutiae
that defines it, all of its existential quirks and manifestations but when you
are being introduced to it for the very first time. A vague, ambiguous description
at best. A moment when the littlest non-detail seems appealing and perfect. Where do you draw the line between this, let's call it die-hard positivity, and wishful thinking? Is there a line? I think we all crave for such clarity; irrational yet so soothing. We yearn for that moment of absolute certainty. We all understand that there are many things beyond our control - even amongst the avowed atheists. Not everything has to be ascribed to a God per se. Different names notwithstanding, there does seem like something or someone exists that/who seems to have things planned. Given the level of chaos that exists around us, I'd hate to believe that there is an uncertain entity oblivious to things around and idling away time by random waves of the wand. It gives me comfort in believing that even if I do not fully understand or know my purpose, someone or something else maybe does. It is in between these moments of not openly acknowledged powerlessness that I would love these tiny actions rooted in absolutely insane certainty! A tiny boost to the ego. So if you ask me, each one of them is possible. All of them will happen.
Someone who read my book of poems told me that it seemed like I was ending each of my poems with a line that subscribed to hope for the future, or in a few cases a solution of some sort to what was written about. I had never thought of my poetry that way for I wrote what I felt. I went back and read through my poems again. He was right. Tonight, as I write this, I realise that I am going to post this on a not-so-hopeful note. If this is how I am - finding hope in everything and believing it all to be possible - am I, in this particular case, latching on to wishful thinking that is pretending to be the embodiment of hope and what's to be? I can tell you how that thought sounds to the optimist - soul crushing!
But then again, everything happens for a reason. :)
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