I have always found it hard to decide when to let go. Given that I am an eternal optimist, each gesture and every small change in a situation gives me hope, enough to take me to another point of frustrating failure. This applies to people and situations alike. It is a weird cycle, one that always comes back to the point where I know that it wouldn't work out! It becomes more weird when this point of absolute certainty of the futility of going through with the exercise is immediately followed by this irrational belief in miracles and the exceptional! I can never fathom how that comes to be. But it does and it does in such an unbelievably powerful way that me giving in remains as the only certain thing in the large scheme of things now. But unfortunately, this does not, in almost all cases, change the way the cycle behaves. It continues on its path with my realistic self as the destination. However, this time around, at least with respect to one particular aspect/person, I've decided to call it quits. For once, I am going to step outside the circumference and see how much I will miss the agonising hopeful in me. All I can hope for now is that I am not a masochist. |
